An overdue summary of The Daily Stoic — February
Passions, Emotions, and Finding Balance in Life
Read January here — https://medium.com/@colin.goudie/a-month-into-the-daily-stoic-reflections-4c83b68b574b
Our passions and emotions drive our behavior and make us human.
Although I strive to keep my emotions in check, upon closer examination of February’s pages, it becomes apparent how relevant and essential these teachings are. I explore some key insights I gained from this month’s Daily Stoic theme.
Controlling our passions ❤️🔥
Never allow ourselves to get mad. Even when the kids’ laziness frustrates the hell out of you, the dog continues to chase the cat, or more common for me when I fail at something. 🤣
Sounds great in theory, right? Is it really possible?
We may be able to avoid letting others manipulate our emotions, but what about when we do it to ourselves? Like when we get super frustrated for letting our standards slip?
Remember, it’s not like our control and our rationality have permanently left us. Instead, see it for what it is. Temporary. Embrace reality and regain your composure.
Control our fear and anxiety 😱
Anxiety is deeply embedded in wanting things not as they are, to desire a change of things outside of our control.
So, how can we become invincible — unable to be rattled by things?
The answer lies in finding balance, or as the Stoics suggest, being in the middle. Understanding that you can’t control what is coming, but you can control what you do, day in and day out.
It’s time to transition self-control to the real place — attaching ourselves to the process, not the outcome. And enjoying every day the activities that make up your processes.
In fact, you are far more resilient that way, as your processes and systems can achieve an unlimited number of outcomes (rather than being focused on one)
As Thomas Jefferson once said, “How much pain have cost us the evils which have never happened!”
Happiness, then, is found in enjoying the process.
And if you find yourself stuck, don’t be scared to make a big change. Ask yourself: “Why am I accepting this?”
Should we never speak up or want someone else to change? Sometimes, but only speak up when you know it would be worse if you don’t.
Being present ⏳
But what about the fear of being still? Are we using action as a distraction? It’s worth asking ourselves these questions because fear can be self-fulfilling.
In fact, remember, it’s far better to have no opinion on certain things.
Take the time to enjoy the meal — to enjoy the present moment, as it is, right now.
Recognize that where our heart is, there our impediments lie. It’s important to understand that what we desire makes us vulnerable.
We’re the ones who decide to label things good or bad, so why not choose to enjoy this brief time on earth as it is right now? The more stuff we want, the busier we end up trying to get them. Not really the path to happiness, eh?
And instead, be satisfied with what you have, and accept the present — all of it — Marcus Aurelius
Balance ⚖️
Finding balance in our lives is essential to happiness.
It’s not about suppressing our emotions but rather understanding and managing them.
It’s about recognizing our vulnerabilities, being present in the moment, and embracing the journey of life without getting caught up in the need for specific outcomes.
A great mentor of mine talks about ‘mental scales’ — (I’ll dive deeper into this in a later article)
If you are wedged firmly to the left or to the right, then you naturally feel deeply (usually negatively) when the scale is the other way.
A balanced view, in the middle, means that imbalances are nothing more than a matter of curiosity, rather than emotions.
Let’s pause for a moment and ponder these questions. How can we take control of our passions and emotions? Find balance, focus on your systems and processes, and enjoy the brief but beautiful time we have on this earth.
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